New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
