Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
