I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
