She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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