glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I got inside last night via doggy door
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
