We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
