fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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