sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
