That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
