I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
3 2 1 whiskey
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
