Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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