K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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