They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
