I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
