we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
