Having a random hookup so left but love u
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
