Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
