Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
