i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
