You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
