Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
