I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
