Do you still have your period?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I supernannyed him into submission
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
