He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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