You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just gargled with NyQuil
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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