My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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