So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
