My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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