This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
