Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
