I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
