somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
