is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
