Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
