I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
