This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I skipped work to stalk him.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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