How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
