I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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