I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
