It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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