yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
