): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
