8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
