Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
