Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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