I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
