he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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