I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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