I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
