why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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