My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize