Pants 0. Shit 1.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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